Over the past ten years I’ve mostly had hair on my face. For nine years it was a full beard. Here’s a brief history of my beards:
This was the short version of my standard beard. I generally went with this as a summer look – but to be honest, I think it was too short.
This was the mid-length version and it was good for most situations. Not to scant, not too bushy – technically I suppose it was just right.
This was about as long as my beard ever got. Long was my favorite version but I was just about the only person that thought so. After more than nine years, I decided to surprise everyone by taking the whole thing off. This was how I looked when I first shaved:
The consensus was that I look younger without a beard. I guess that’s true. I was getting pretty grey.
Not content to leave well enough alone though I started growing new beards almost right away.
First just a standard goatee.
Then an absurdly thin mustache. (It lasted a few weeks but never did much for anyone.)
Next came the goatee and mustache with missing middle. Just a little bit of hair up around my mouth. I thought it was pretty cool – but again I was clearly in a minority.
Finally I had what might be the silliest beard ever. I was trying to imagine what facial hair might look like in the future and decided that the future was now! I wanted something subtle and understated but that would still stand out in the facial hair universe. This is what I came up with:
The comments were not favorable. Here’s just a few:
“I can’t even look at you like that.”
“I’m thinking prison movie . . .”
“It looks like you were doing an art project.”
“Is that the 13th step?”
Not being entirely a fool, I decided it was time to go back to square one so I shaved:
I’ll be starting a new one soon but have decided to give my friends – and my follicles – a break. Don’t worry though, there’ll be more in the future.